8 hours later...

After I blogged last night, I went to sleep and woke up feeling the same shitty feeling. Usually after sleeping, I feel a lot better because lack of sleep just puts me in a bad mood. That or ugly weather. But, I slept and the sun shining outside isn't curing my sadness. Maybe it's the stress of finals? I hope so. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be rich. I don't want all the things in the world. I don't want expensive things. I just want to be happy. That's honestly, the only thing I want. At the same time, I'm feeling a bit better. A bit relieved that I wrote out my thoughts, finally, after so many years.

Anyways. I feel like talking about happier things.

Yesterday, I had a 'picnic' in front of VLSB with some friends. It was absolutely wonderful to just relax and not worry. TOO bad I got no studying done. Afterwards, we went to grab yogurtland, which is quite refreshing on a hot day, except that it melts super fast. Later that night, went karaoking. I realize, it's not my thing, but I always go. I don't why. I guess I don't like being left out of things and go just to be with friends. It was still fun. The girls have amazing voices, the guys...they're entertaining haha.

I really can't wait until I get the last two finals over with, even though I'm only getting like a weekend of summer before I start summer school. It's okay though. At least it's only one class at a time, sort of. I'm really excited to learn Korean. Hopefully, I can learn Japanese later in life, too. I need to work on improving my Mandarin over the summer, too. Otherwise, I'm really going to be screwed in Chinese 100.

I feel pretty random when I write. I just write about whatever comes to mind. Lately, I've been really into makeup. I wish I could get better at it, but I'm only so-so. I read blogs and watch you-tube videos. They're actually pretty entertaining and some of the girls are really good. They're pretty artistic, too. I wish I could be good at something. It seems like everyone has at least one thing that they excel at whether in studies, extracurriculars, or something random. However, I don't have any of that. I'm really an AVERAGE person, at best, maybe even less than average. I want to find something to do, to set me apart.

Maybe I'll learn piano or guitar. I've always wanted to be able to play those instruments. I'm really musically challenged though. When I sing, I'm off pitch and sound horrible. Maybe that's why I don't like going karaoke because I don't like singing in front of people with my bad voice. I like singing though, when no one's around. Dancing, too.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm here procrastinating. ARGH.

Alright.
Time to . . .
get back to it.

---oh.capricious