prelude to summer.

i'm so glad that finals are OVER! :]

time to partyyyy...but not really. got a lot of shit to get done.

i think i'm being really childish and bitchy right now. i don't know if it's because i'm tired or really unhappy with the way life is right now. maybe it's a little of both. i hate that my confidants are so far away. i need to make some at berkeley. people who i know will practically be there for me whenever i need them and not ditch me or ignore me when they feel like. sometimes, i just don't understand it, but it could be the way i am. i just can't keep a stable line of friends. it's too hard or maybe i'm just too stubborn. i wish i could write out all my thoughts, to the littlest detail, but at the same time, i feel that if i ever want to share this, i don't want some people reading certain things. it's hard to express yourself when you're surrounded by people that only judge your every move.

honestly, how do people constanly stay optimistic and happy in life? why can i not do that? why must i be such a pessimist?

let's try optimism.

this summer is going to be great. minus the econ class. i think korean should be fun. long, tedious, difficult, but fun for sure! can't wait to spend time with some quality friends too! too bad KB and gege are so far away! then jiejie who is across the darn country! :[

this is going to be a summer of change. i'm going to grow up, learn to focus myself and apply myself and be honest and dedicated. i need to stop doing whatever i feel like, whenever i feel like because it doesn't only affect me. i realize a lot of the stuff i do is really selfish and i need to grow out of that phase. i guess being babied by my family has rubbed off and i'm starting to take it for granted. i say, NO MORE! -_-'' lol, but seriously.



i'm exhausted. why am i up at this hour? i hope i wake up in time to do all the things i need to do tomorrow. good thing i took off of work or i'd be royally screwed. :[


oh, so i went to a friend's party today. smart of me to carry my DL and $50 because i ended up losing them out of my pocket. i have no idea if i lost it walking or at the apartment, but all i know, i can't find it. second time i lost my DL. i'm so stupid...i'm always losing things. I need a better head on my shoulders or something because the one I have is just not working out for me. :[


gonna go finish reading wicked for now. maybe i'll update later.



i don't know if anyone will ever see this blog, but if i do one day make it public...
CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING CLASS OF 2009! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS! Especially you Mishu! :] You're really going to go on and do amazing things! I have so much confidence in your abilities to be great. :) make us proud!


nightts.

---oh.capricious